<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>When Kindness Glows by Rivulet027</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25696906">When Kindness Glows</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027'>Rivulet027</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Brain Damage, CT-7567 | Rex Needs a Hug, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Domestic, Hopeful Ending, Multi, POV CT-7567 | Rex, Panic Attacks, Past Brainwashing, Past CC-5576-36 I Gregor/CC-3636 I Wolffe, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, Post-Order 66, Post-Season/Series 07, Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Survivor Guilt, Threesome - M/M/M, Traumatic Brain Injury</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:54:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25696906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rex finds Gregor first and later Wolffe finds them both.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CC-5576-39 | Gregor/CT-7576 | Rex/CC-3636 | Wolffe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Clone Wars Saved Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When Kindness Glows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurae/gifts">Aurae</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: When I saw the prompt about Gregor I kinda flailed and knew what I had to write. The Survivor Guilt and Panic Attack tags are for Rex. The Amnesia and Traumatic Brain Injury tags are for Gregor. The Brain Damage tag is both Gregor and Wolffe. They all have PTSD. It's talked about. Gregor explains his TBI. The title is a line from the John O'Donohue poem "On the Death of the Beloved".</p><p>Warning: Rex has a panic attack. It's not gone into great detail and Gregor is immediately right there trying to help him. Gregor has pseudobulbar affect due to his TBI and starts laughing uncontrollably at one point in the fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The loneliness aches. Rex isn’t sure he’ll ever get used to it. Cut and Suu would’ve let him stay with them, but after checking that Cut wasn’t affected by Order 66 and warning them about the chip, it didn’t seem safe to stay. Moving from port to port and finding different work while slowly building his stock of weapons and armor becomes routine.</p><p>He misses Ahsoka keenly, but the ‘what should we have done differently’ kept growing between them and it was easier to part as friends then let the questions haunt them. He could never resent her, but being the only clone to make it off that star destroyer alive is becoming increasingly difficult to bear. Is he the only clone to have his chip removed? He doesn’t know, but the guilt settles in his gut and sometimes it feels like it’s expanding until it’s difficult to breathe.</p><p>Then Rex sees <i>him</i>. He’s unmistakably a clone and he’s not hiding. His hair is cut short, similar to the style Kix was favoring right before he disappeared. His eyes are the exact same shade of hazel as Cody’s. Rex goes still. He doesn’t know how to react to the hope and fear welling inside him. Rex wants to hug him for existing so fearlessly and admonish him for not hiding all at the same time. He settles for continuing to work while sneaking glances.</p><p>By the end of the workday he knows a few things about Gregor, but the thing that strikes Rex the most is how kind he is. He gets his work done, but is right there helping when someone else needs a hand. He gives away part of his lunch. He’s also been here awhile, everyone that wasn’t hired today already seems to know and like him.</p><p>The Imperials haven’t made it to this port yet, but how soon will it be before someone turns Gregor in?</p><p>He keeps trying to remember if he’d known a Gregor, but the only one he can remember was a survivor of Sarrish who died on Abafar. Rex knows this has to be a different Gregor. Artoo had insisted they go back to Abafar to look for him. Wolffe had gotten permission to go along with General Koon, Kix and Artoo. They’d all been worried about Wolffe. It’d been difficult enough for Wolffe thinking that his boyfriend had died on Sarrish without proof, but to find out that he’d been alive and without his memory only to sacrifice himself to save Colonel Gascon and the droids and then be assumed dead again was a lot. Rex remembers how upset Wolffe had been when they’d come back without proof that Gregor was dead. At least Wolffe had let himself grieve that time.</p><p>This can’t be the same Gregor.</p><p>Rex catches up to him after their shift is over and asks to speak with him. </p><p>“Sorry, I can’t afford to buy you dinner,” Gregor declines.</p><p>“How about I buy you dinner and we…” Rex pauses as he realizes how what he’s about to ask sounds. “I don’t want to take my helmet off in public, but if we go somewhere private. I have a room for the night, we could get food and go there.”</p><p>“I know how to fight so if you’re trying to rob me…”</p><p>“I’m not,” Rex insists. “I just really want to talk to you.”</p><p>“Why not?” Gregor decides with a smile and a shrug. “I can’t stay long. I have to get to work.”</p><p>“How many jobs do you have?” Rex asks with a sinking feeling.</p><p>“Three, but I’m only working two of them today.”</p><p>Rex lets Gregor pick where they get food and then takes him to the room he’s renting until he decides to pack up and leave. He sets the food on the counter and takes off his helmet.</p><p>Gregor stares at him, eyes wide. He shakes his head. “No. No. This isn’t happening again.”</p><p>Gregor covers his face with his hands and groans.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Rex asks.</p><p>“I don’t have hallucinations!” Gregor protests before he squats down with his hands still covering his eyes. “I can’t get blown up again. I can’t.”</p><p>“Blown up?” Rex asks as he sits down and leans carefully against Gregor.</p><p>Gregor peeks at him, then pokes his cheek. “You look just like that Captain Rex the droid showed me to convince me I was a clone.”</p><p>Rex catches his hand. “I am Rex. I’m not a captain anymore and as far as I know nothing needs blowing up.”</p><p>Gregor sits down.</p><p>“Abafar?” Rex asks.</p><p>Gregor nods.</p><p>“They went looking for you. Wolffe, Kix, and General Koon. Artoo insisted on going too.”</p><p>“Artoo was the blue droid?” Gregor asks, sounding unsure.</p><p>“Yeah,” Rex says.</p><p>“Should I know who any of those other people are?”</p><p>“You and Wolffe were dating.”</p><p>Gregor looks down at his hands and shakes his head. “I-I don’t remember.”</p><p>“The report said you didn’t remember anything before Abafar,” Rex offers tentatively.</p><p>“I remember some of Sarrish, but it’s mostly nightmares.”</p><p>Rex leans on him more heavily trying to offer comfort. Gregor frowns and scoots away. Rex apologizes and gets up to retrieve their food. He offers Gregor his carton, then sits next to him to eat.</p><p>“Is it okay to ask how you ended up here?” Rex broaches.</p><p>“The medical facility here is better than anything on Abafar,” Gregor tells him. “I somehow managed to not get burned too badly, nothing the bacta couldn’t handle, but…”</p><p>He trails off and stares at his food, then checks his chrono.</p><p>“Do you have to go?” Rex asks.</p><p>Gregor shakes his head. “Not yet.”</p><p>They eat in silence for a moment and Rex isn’t sure what to say. He still has questions. He has things he should tell Gregor. “There’s a chip in your head that the Imperials can control you with.”</p><p>“No, it got removed. They thought it was a tumor when it came up on the scan and removed it.”</p><p>“It showed up on a scan?” Ahsoka had said it’d been difficult for the scanner to find, but that makes sense, the Republic ships wouldn’t have a scanner strong enough to find the chip.</p><p>“The medical facilities here are, well there’s a reason they bring most people here from all over the sector,” Gregor explains. “I owe them a lot.”</p><p>Rex feels himself go cold. “How many credits?”</p><p>There’s an Imperial reward for clones. It’s gone down since they started training and replacing the clones with Imperial citizens, but it still exists. </p><p>Gregor laughs. “They helped me a lot and they've been good about letting me take my time paying them back.”</p><p>“You said you work three jobs.”</p><p>“Rex, I have a traumatic brain injury. I probably had one from Sarrish and then Abafar happened and they helped me a lot. I can talk, I still can’t read, but I can work and my mood swings aren’t as bad as they were. I’m taking my meds and I have therapy.”</p><p>“You don’t think they’ll turn you in, do you?”</p><p>Gregor shrugs. “They haven’t yet. I’m sure they were trying to rehabilitate me so they could bill the Republic, but the Republic doesn’t exist anymore and the facility doesn’t want to have anything to do with the Imperials so, yeah, I work three jobs because the routine keeps me busy and it lets me pay for things. I was trying to save up to leave if I had to, but I haven’t had to yet.”</p><p>“So you’re not their payday?”</p><p>“I don’t feel as used as I did when I worked for Mr. Barkus, so no,” Gregor answers.</p><p>“I’m not good at being alone, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you either,” Rex admits.</p><p>“You want to stick around?”</p><p>“If you’re okay with that,” Rex says, trying to smile.</p><p>“I have mood swings and I get frustrated easily,” Gregor tells him.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Gregor frowns at him. </p><p>"Clones aren't really meant to be alone," Rex tries.</p><p>"I'm kinda used to it," Gregor says cautiously as he sets his food on the floor in front of himself. </p><p>"I don't think I'll ever get used to it," Rex confesses.</p><p>"Well, I don't remember being used to it." There's resignation in Gregor's words as he stares down at his hands, fingers twisting around each other. Rex wants to reach out to him, but he doesn't know if Gregor is comfortable with touching, not with the way he'd moved away earlier.</p><p>"I'll leave, if you want me to." Rex offers. </p><p>Gregor starts laughing, his shoulders shaking with it. He covers his face.</p><p>Rex stills. "I…"</p><p>Gregor waves a hand at him, then makes a wait motion. He lays back, his palms still against his eyes as he continues laughing. Is this a stress laugh? Or is this a trap and Gregor isn't a very good actor? Rex listens cautiously, trying not to be distracted by Gregor still laughing. No, it's just him and Gregor, as far as he can tell. Rex takes a bite of his food, then continues eating as Gregor stops laughing and sighs in frustration. Gregor checks his chrono, then sits up and grabs his food.</p><p>"Pseudobuldar affect," Gregor says. "It's part of the brain injury, sometimes I just laugh and can't control it."</p><p>He shoves a bite of food in his mouth as he looks at Rex, obviously waiting for a reaction.</p><p>"That sucks," Rex offers.</p><p>Gregor shrugs. "Could be uncontrollable crying so...I take a med that helps. There's the lack of impulse control and I have mood swings, did I mention the mood swings?"</p><p>"You did."</p><p>"And then there's the anger issues. I have therapy for that," Gregor tells him, voice deceptively even, before he takes another bite of food.</p><p>"You're worried I'm going to say I want to stick around and then decide I don't after I get to know you," Rex realizes.</p><p>"I don't want you to feel obligated."</p><p>"I'm not," Rex tells him. "You're obviously taking care of yourself. You don't need me, but sooner or later the Empire is going to make its way here, or someone is going to decide that the Imperial credits for turning in a clone deserter look good, or the Empire will catch up to me, and I think we both have a better chance of surviving that if we work together."</p><p>Gregor pokes at his food frowning. “Can I think about it?”</p><p>Rex nods. “Yeah.”</p><p>He hopes Gregor wants him to stick around, but Rex gets the feeling that Gregor needs time to consider and become comfortable with the idea. He’s not sure what to say to make Gregor feel at ease so he just continues eating.</p><p>“How’d you get your chip out?” Gregor asks.</p><p>And just like that all Rex can hear is an almost echo of the accusations Jesse had thrown at him. Jesse who’d been so guilty about the things that Maul had pulled out of his head, as if it was his fault that the former Sith had gone rooting around in his mind, to suddenly be controlled by a chip into thinking he needed to kill Ahsoka and Rex. And now Jesse’s dead. So many of his brothers are dead and the ones that aren’t dead have been controlled into being the living droids they’d fought so hard not to be. Rex swallows against the sudden wave of nausea. His hands are shaking and it feels as if there’s a weight on his chest. It’s difficult to breathe.</p><p>Hands cover his, gentle as the carton and fork are taken out of his hands. Rex tries to focus on what Gregor is saying, but it’s difficult when...they’d been so happy to have Ahsoka back...she’d been so in awe of how they’d repainted their helmets...Jesse had...and Gregor is right in front of him, warm and alive and an individual. Rex grips Gregor’s wrist tightly and leans in shuddering. He’s crying Rex realizes distantly. Gregor’s arms go tight around him and Rex can’t help the whine that rises out of his throat as he grips the front of Gregor’s shirt. Gregor pulls him close, rocks them slightly and Rex cries deep, shuddering sobs that wrack his whole body. Gregor hangs on to him, doesn’t let go, even when Rex cries himself out and goes lax and still.</p><p>“Guess we’re both a mess, huh?” Gregor comments into the silence.</p><p>Rex laughs helplessly. What’s he supposed to say? He was their captain, their commander at the end. He was responsible for all of their safety and he couldn’t save any of them. He isn't even sure how to save any of them now. He feels like a failure. He only saved himself. He…</p><p>Gregor's hand comes up to cup his cheek. “Take a deep breath in for me okay?”</p><p>Rex listens.</p><p>“Now hold, okay. Now breathe out, slowly.”</p><p>“Are you trying to make me meditate?” Rex asks.</p><p>Gregor’s lips quirk up. “If deep breathing is meditating then I’m probably doing it wrong.”</p><p>Rex snorts, then swipes at his wet face. “I got your shirt all...you have to go to work. Am I making you late?”</p><p>“Are you going to be okay if I leave?” Gregor asks.</p><p>“I can look out for myself.”</p><p>Gregor lets go of his face and Rex misses the warmth of his hand. </p><p>“And you’ll still be here in the morning?”</p><p>“Unless the Imperials show up and drag me away,” Rex attempts to joke.</p><p>Gregor grimaces. </p><p>“Sorry,” Rex says.</p><p>“I’m the one who should apologize. I should’ve known not to ask,” Gregor objects. He pats Rex’s arms. “Give me your comm number. I’ll check in with you after work and we’ll figure out moving you in with me tomorrow. It’s small and I’ve only got the one bed, but we’ll figure something out.”</p><p>He moves in with Gregor the next day. Gregor is in awe of the weapons and armor he’s been acquiring and drags Rex down to the garage he works in to show him the walker he owns and is slowly restoring.</p><p>“It’s fortified,” Gregor starts to explain. “If I have to leave…”</p><p>“And there’s enough space inside that it could be converted to a living space,” Rex fills in when Gregor trails off.</p><p>“Yes! Exactly!”</p><p>They slowly acclimate to each other. It takes Gregor time to become comfortable with Rex in his space, but eventually he starts initiating hugs or cuddling. They share the berth. Gregor is saving for a ship large enough to haul his walker off planet, having two incomes helps them put aside money faster. After picking through his armor collection to find Gregor a disguise, for when they leave, Rex starts selling his extra armor. The ship they buy isn't fancy, but it's sturdy and has more weapons than is technically legal. Gregor broaches the idea of Rex going to therapy, but Rex knows that the team sent to find Gregor looked, they searched, so he's not sure he trusts the med center, not yet. </p><p>Then Wolffe breaks in. Rex is making breakfast in the kitchen while Gregor is in the refresher. Rex doesn’t have his armor on. He’s still barefoot. Wolffe takes off his helmet.</p><p>“No one reported you were here,” Wolffe accuses and it’s only because he’s known Wolffe for so long that Rex can hear the concern in his words. </p><p>“You’ve come to take Gregor in?” Rex asks cautiously. It’s just Wolffe, no other troopers. Rex glances at the window, then the door. There are several things in the tiny nook of a kitchen he could use as a weapon.</p><p>Wolffe flinches at Gregor’s name, stares at Rex in confusion. “I came to warn him. Gregor?”</p><p>“Warn?” Rex asks, not quite sure what to do with the hope dawning in his chest.</p><p>“The reports were of a clone, not a blond clone. You should really grow your hair out and dye it or disguise yourself better,” Wolffe criticizes.</p><p>Rex moves closer to him. </p><p>“You have to go,” Wolffe tells him. “You...do you know what Lord Vader does to traitors?”</p><p>He sounds scared. He’s hurt and scared and he’s standing right in front of Rex trying to help. Rex tries to concentrate on that, because if he starts thinking about how Dooku's replacement matched the brainwashed 501st into the Jedi temple to...no concentrate on Wolffe, on the present danger.</p><p>“Come with us,” Rex tells him.</p><p>Wolffe snarls at him, “I’m not a traitor. I’m going to bring you in and…”</p><p>Gregor deftly knocks Wolffe out. Rex looks from Wolffe lying prone on the floor to Gregor standing over him in a towel.</p><p>“We need to go," Rex makes himself say.</p><p>Gregor prods at Wolffe’s shoulder with his bare foot. “Do you think we have time to get him to the med center, try and get his chip out?”</p><p>They have several plans for escape, none of them involve a trip to the med center.</p><p>“We can’t just leave him,” Rex decides. “That’s your boyfriend.”</p><p>“You’re my boyfriend.”</p><p>“What?” Rex asks as he realizes that what he’s taken as Gregor becoming more comfortable with touch is Gregor thinking they’re a couple. Oh. That’s...Oh.</p><p>Gregor laughs and throws his towel at Rex's head. Rex barely manages to catch it as he catches a glimpse of Gregor heading into the bedroom. It doesn’t take long to stripe Wolffe out of the stormtrooper armor and what little spare armor they have. Then they change into their armor and grab the bags they always have packed. Even if they lose the ship they’ve purchased and stored the walker on they won’t have lost everything. </p><p>Date, the medic who agrees to look at Wolffe, shakes his head at the scan he insisted on. "His chip is likely malfunctioning. I can see where it is, but I wouldn't recommend removing it."</p><p>Rex gives Gregor a sidelong glance. Is Date stalling?</p><p>"You removed mine," Gregor reminds.</p><p>"We didn't know it wasn't a tumor and you had time to recover. If I remove it he might die, at the least I'd need to monitor intracranial pressure. He wouldn't be able to just leave with you."</p><p>"You want to do nothing and have us leave him here," Rex realizes.</p><p>"He's here, you said he came to warn you. That means the Imperials aren't far behind," Date points out. "They're starting to discharge clones. Not decommission, not kill, discharge. So Wolffe tried to find the clone that was reported on his own, got attacked, and brought here. I ran some scans. Maybe they leave him here to recover. Maybe they don't, but he'll at least know coming here is an option.”</p><p>"It's the safest option for all three of us," Gregor concludes.</p><p>Rex can see the logic in that plan, but it still stings to leave Wolffe behind. Gregor is careful with him in the wake of their escape.</p><p>“I’m okay,” Rex tries to reassure him.</p><p>“You’re having more nightmares,” Gregor points out as he stares down at his tea.</p><p>Rex stills, not sure how to respond. He considers heading to the cockpit and checking their orbit around Seelos. He and Gregor are taking the time to check out planets they researched to see if they can find one that walks the balance of habitable enough to live on, but inhabitable enough that they won’t be bothered. </p><p>“Don’t,” Gregor tells him, reaching out to squeeze his hand.</p><p>“Don’t what?”</p><p>“You’re thinking about changing rooms?” Gregor frowns. </p><p>Rex raises his eyebrows, he wasn’t, but now he is. The ship has a few rooms, they don’t have to share a berth.</p><p>“I’ll just follow you,” Gregor points out. “And then we’d have to switch rooms.”</p><p>Rex smiles and squeezes Gregor’s hand. Gregor lifts their joined hands and then kisses his fingers. Rex’s mouth goes dry. He wants, but he also can’t stop thinking that they left Wolffe behind and that feels like a betrayal.</p><p>“Want to plan stealing him from the Imperials?” Gregor grins. Every now and then Gregor says something that reminds Rex he was part of the 212th.</p><p>Rex groans and sinks in his chair. “We’d need more than you and me, and more explosives than would’ve made Hardcase satisfied so…”</p><p>It’s impractical. Rescuing Wolffe would be impractical. Rex isn’t sure where to start. </p><p>They settle on Seelos and take what they need from their ship to make the walker as comfortable as they can. They sell what’s left of the ship. Date stops by every few months with medication and supplies. He makes sure they have a medkit and know how to use it. Then on his forth check in he brings Wolffe. His chip is out. He moves slowly, like every part of him aches. He watches Gregor with longing. He studies Rex with care. He decides on sleeping alone, even though the berth is big enough for all three of them.</p><p>Then Rex wakes up from a nap to find Wolffe sitting nearing him.</p><p>“Nightmares?” Wolffe asks. Rex reaches out and grips Wolffe’s wrist. Wolffe’s other hand slides over Rex’s beard.</p><p>“I’m alright,” Rex says..</p><p>Wolffe shakes his head. “As alright as I am when I wake up from remembering how Jag shot down General Koon? I didn’t know what had happened. I think my chip was broke even then. It took a moment for the order to hit me, to stop remembering I had a name. I was…”</p><p>Wolffe breaks off and sighs through his nose. Rex squeezes his wrist.</p><p>“Sometimes I still forget I have a name,” Wolffe admits.</p><p>“We’ll remind you,” Rex promises.</p><p>“I know,” Wolffe agrees as his thumb brushes over Rex’s lips.</p><p>Their eyes meet. Wolffe leans in and kisses him. Rex groans and kisses him back. Then stills. Wolffe smirks, then straddles him, leaning down to press their foreheads together as one hand cups Rex’s jaw and the other ruffles the hair Rex is growing out. “Gregor and I talked.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Rex asks, unable to look away from the intensity in Wolffe’s eye.</p><p>“All three of us are a mess, but if we lean on each other, work together…”</p><p>Rex gives Wolffe a moment to finish. Wolffe’s thumb traces over his jawline, pushing at Rex’s beard. Wolffe huffs.</p><p>“That’s the plan, right?” Rex agrees.</p><p>Wolffe kisses him again, briefly, then informs him. “Gregor has a slow seduction plan. He’d probably tell you all about it before putting it in motion. Think if I make you moan loud enough he’ll drop the plan and get in here?”</p><p>Rex lets himself reach down and squeeze Wolffe’s thighs before he smirks, “You can try.”</p><p>Wolffe answers with his own smirk, grabs Rex’s hands and pins them above his head before kissing him long and slow. The three of them aren’t ever going to be anything like what Rex had planned for after the war, but maybe they can find a way to fit together in a way that keeps them all safe.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>